The Power of Because: How to Win at Boundary-Setting

Do you need to put your foot down and set some boundaries? Well guess what? One word is all you need.

In this video, we reveal the power of the word "because" when making requests, even if your reason is a total load of baloney. Plus, we'll share the research that proves it actually works!

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The Power of Because

Have you ever found yourself drowning in endless demands and expectations, feeling like you’re about to snap? It’s not uncommon in today’s busy world. But what can you do when you reach this breaking point?

If you’ve come to the realization that you need to set some boundaries in your life, there’s a simple trick that increases your rate of success. And it all distills down to a Xerox machine and the word “because.”

A Harvard researcher, Ellen Langer, conducted a landmark study in a busy office environment where people were making copies. In the study, an experimenter approached people in line and asked to cut in front of them to make copies. In the first instance, the experimenter simply asked to cut in line and about half of the people agreed. In the second instance, the experimenter asked to cut in line and added the reason, “because I’m in a rush,” and almost everybody agreed.

But here’s where things get interesting: in the third instance, the experimenter made a request and gave a reason, but the reason had no connection to any urgency whatsoever. The experimenter simply said, “Can I cut in line because I have copies to make?” And almost everybody let them cut in line…even though this reason was total B.S.

Why did this work? It’s because we’re often influenced by seemingly meaningless cues or information, and we use heuristics, or mental shortcuts, to simplify complex situations. So when someone hears the word “because” and a reason, even a nonsensical one, their brain makes a quick decision to agree.

So how can you use this in your life?

Whenever you need to make a request or set a boundary, use this easy formula, and it will certainly increase your odds of success.

For example:

I need you to take out the trash and walk the dog because I’m feeling overwhelmed.

I am moving to 45 minute meetings because I need time to prep in between.

I am unavailable from 5pm-7pm Monday-Friday because I want more balance when it comes to my family.

So the next time you’re feeling stretched to the brink, remember the power of this simple word “because.”